Archive for March, 2013

Facing Your Fear Factor

March 27, 2013

What’s your biggest fear?                                man afraid                                                                        According to numerous studies the #1 fear of most people is public speaking. Is that you?

It used to be me.

Having been in the entertainment business as a pianist for many years, when I transitioned over to become a motivational speaker people said “that must have been easy for you because you’ve worked on a stage all your life”.

Not so much.

The truth is I had a fear of microphones. Since I played piano without singing, there was no need for a microphone when I worked. For 20+ years it was easy to talk to people from behind the piano. BUT………without the piano was like being without my blankie.     The piano was my crutch.

One day a friend took me to a Toastmasters meeting. Toastmasters is an international club that teaches people how to give speeches. For me this was big time scary stuff. How not to look like an idiot in front of a group of strangers without my blankie?

Much to my surprise I got hooked on the whole process of speaking in public and like anything else, the more I spoke the calmer my nerves. Don’t get me wrong, twelve years later I still get nervous before giving an inspirational speech on moving through fear to success, but nowadays that gives me the edge to do a great job.

Woman motivational speaker Theresa Behenna: Fail your way to Success!
Motivational speaker Theresa Behenna:
Fail your way to Success!

Whatever you’re afraid of, it’s probably not as bad as you imagine. We tend to exaggerate perceptions to the worst possible scenario. Most of our anxieties are over things that never happen.

Facing your fear is half the battle. Doing something about it is the other half. Whether it’s learning new technology, tackling an exercise program or signing up for online dating. Like Nike says: Just do it.

Gimme that microphone!

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Rhoda’s Rules For Dying and Why You Need to Know

March 14, 2013

You’ve heard the news. actress Valerie Harper aka Rhoda Morganstern on the Mary Tyler Moore show has been diagnosed with a terminal rare form of brain Imagecancer and may have only three months to live.

What would YOU do? How would you act if you knew your days were numbered? Would you begin crossing things off your bucket list?

1. Find the positive. Instead of bemoaning her lot asking why me? Valerie has found the joy in her situation. Yes, that’s right. Joy. She has been overwhelmingly touched by the outpouring of love and support from thousands of people everywhere. In her own words: “I want to tell people how supportive and loving and exciting it is to feel this in the here and now and that’s it.  This is the joy of it.  If I was gone you’d be having memorials.  This way we can share back and forth.”

2. Move through fear. As a professional motivational speaker I get to speak to all kinds of groups about being fearless: from professional admins, healthcare workers & nurses, to HR directors, corporate employees, and small business owners.  I talk about taking risks and one small step towards a personal or professional goal i.e. make more money, change careers, take up a hobby, get healthy, make new friends. It’s about overcoming fear and self doubt and adopting an attitude of  ‘I can’ –  learning new ways of working and living to be happy. Valerie Harper decided to go public with her illness because I want people to be less scared.” I want them to know the new realm of cancer: that you can die with cancer but not of it.” Valerie Harper & Mary Tyler Moore

3. Never lose hope. I recently spoke to the American Heart Association at their Go Red For Women fundraiser in Montana and the common thread among survivors that spoke before me and the audience that contributed generously was: hope. There’s always hope of a cure, a new opportunity for success, meeting your soul mate, losing the weight, winning The Voice (OK, you need some singing talent for that one) Valerie Harper’s  doctor said her cancer is  incurable “so far’” and she said “I love that, not a shred, but a possibility.  We all need to live in infinite possibility.”

Take Rhoda’s advice and live fully NOW. Quit waiting for the kids to graduate, social security to kick in, the dream job fairy to wave her wand. DO something!

Live like you were dying…….because you are.

Is this your idea of a whale of a good time?

March 5, 2013
                                                                  whale
No. The diver is not headless. His head is below the bubbles inside the wet suit and I wonder what he was thinking right at this moment? 
My guess is it had nothing to do with world peace, the price of gas or the latest on Jay Lenno.

During my motivational keynote speeches on being fearless and taking risks to experience more success and happiness in life, I talk about the worst day of my life when I was laid off from an office job living far away from my home town in Australia as a young woman. I was petrified. The country was in a recession and the economic outlook was as bleak as it’s been here in America for the past four years.
Go Red laughing side on
My first instinct was to call my parents 1,000 miles away.
george Halfway through dialing I realized they would just tell me to come home and I’d be right back where I started. My hopes and dreams of traveling the world, working on a professional stage and dating George Clooney would be dashed.
(OK, so one of those dreams was a fantasy)I hung up the phone and that pivotal moment changed my whole life. 

Long story short, I grabbed an opportunity to play the piano in a posh Sydney hotel with no experience, a repertoire of 50 songs (mostly Beatles) and a tummy full of nerves. And poof! A star was born (lol)

Last week on TV’s reality show The Biggest Loser, there was a man afraid of swimming because of all the unseen dangers lurking below the water. After shedding many pounds and gaining considerable confidence, the man decided to face his fear and go swimming in the ocean (with a guide in nearby boat). He emerged on shore a changed man.

LESSON: Let go fear of things you can’t control.
Whether it’s the economy, other people or big fish.

Take small steps towards things you CAN control to realize your dreams/goals:
Lose weight, change jobs, venture out, meet new people,
Take a class, join a club, learn a language,
Swim with sharks.

Have a whale of a good time.